I can still hear the screams
Of a tortured soul
Ringing in my ears
Shivering from the cold
The cracking of broken bottles
Each step bled
Out a new pain
A new sorrow
I can still smell the tears
Covered in the exhausted sweat
Of a worn out body
Wavering and tired of screaming
Each drop glistening like pearls of ice
I can still taste the blood
Of an undeserving scar
Slashed fiercely across
My raging heart
Tickling and burning
As the brezze hums over it
I can still feel the needles pricking
Blacking me out with numbness
Questiong my lifeless existence
Neither your senses nor your lies
Soothes or consoles
I don't know what I am looking for
Kicking against the forceful current
Searching for a way out
Or for a way in?
Nothing can take away
The scare that lonliness brings
Or the pathetic laugh and devilsh grin
Of the refelection I see
A complete stranger to me
The locks of hair in my fists
The clenched teeth
All refuse to bring
Any solace to this hellish thing
Curled into a ball
Sobbing
Hoping
Planning
Belabouring
Morning eventually dawns
Bringing a new anticipation of doom
New set of fears
Néw kind of pain
Waiting for the night once again
An endless dance begins
To the tune of frienzed drums
Playing from my thoughts
Back and forth I swing
Swril, twist and slide
It's always the same echoing
Many nights have passed since
Without these rituals
A calm has settled in
Is it a calm before a Strom?
Will I sustain my new form?
No more sceaming, tears, sweat and blood
But only the occassional murmurings
Of what used to be
Bursting from underneath
Claiming to be the truth
But I decide, I choose
Which to claim as real and true.
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