SITTING ON THE EDGE
I did what it takes
To make you feel alright
Spent sleepness nights
Talking till the morning light
Listened and soothed
Did the best I could
To make you feel good
About yourself
About everyone else
But now the time has come
For me to go
To look inside
For a while
But you pulled me back
Held me tight
Made me promise
To always fight
On your side
And I did
Hugged you back
Gave everything I had
And even what I didn't
Just to make you smile
Even If it is for a while
We all want forever
But nothing ever lasts
I was all that I had
But now that's lost
In a spiral of fears
I can't hold back these tears
I wish you knew
I was just like you
Another human
With a lost soul
But now am lost
Neither a human
Nor a wandering soul
Not at rest
Not at peace
Merely Something in between
It is alien to you
This feat
Never seen
That I too could be
Exsiting than living
And it is alien for you
To sacrifice
Lend you hand
And save someone From slipping
Sitting on the edge
I glance,at the infinte dark space below
And the vast stretch of land
But nowhere do I see your hand
Sitting on the edge
I can't decide
Do I jump Or do I fly
Or just run and hide
Sitting on the edge
I can't feel
My heavy heart
Or my weary feet
Sitting on the edge
I silently cry
Look down and across
Hoping to see
But there is only
indesicive darkness around me.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Inspired By A Thousand Years-6
PATH OF A TEAR
A
Tear drop
Ran across my brow
Tried to wipe it but
It refused to go
It
Ran from
My heart sealed
The one I concealed
Vowed to never show
But
It can't
Remain hidden where
Its No longer safe
Broke free from the chains
That
I made
The control fades
Begins it's escapade
Flows on and on
And
On again
I wish I could regain
My power over them
But tonight I can't
I
Sit and
Weep in pain
Kick and complain
I wish I could lock
Myself
Away from this
Away from you
Away from everthing that knew
About
This disease
An illness, a frenzy
That won't go
But continues to flow
On
And on
And on again
A
Tear drop
Ran across my brow
Tried to wipe it but
It refused to go
It
Ran from
My heart sealed
The one I concealed
Vowed to never show
But
It can't
Remain hidden where
Its No longer safe
Broke free from the chains
That
I made
The control fades
Begins it's escapade
Flows on and on
And
On again
I wish I could regain
My power over them
But tonight I can't
I
Sit and
Weep in pain
Kick and complain
I wish I could lock
Myself
Away from this
Away from you
Away from everthing that knew
About
This disease
An illness, a frenzy
That won't go
But continues to flow
On
And on
And on again
Inspired By A Thousand Years-5
Am I in denial?
Or moving beyond the subliminal?
A strange bird flies across
Is it the lucky albratross
Or the black crow
That brings deep sorrow?
Is it something I should share?
Or a secret that I should make you swear?
The battle rages
Like that of the two fish
Tied by their fins
Are they knots of valor
Or of cowardice?
Life is a struggle each day
A new horn is blown
A new mask is worn
UnLike the flower that blooms
And perishes at night
This refuses to evade
Forces you to draw out that blade
From that ill kept sheath
But, If u could draw comfort from this sheet
Slash your hands across fluidly
The words pour out effortlessly
The pain, the sorrow
The joy and the happy hollow
The frozen ice breaks
Flows through your heart
Mends and heals
This is more than real
As The stars impatiently twinkle
You put to rest your mind that was once fickle
Because You now know you won your struggle
Each day we all fight
Day and night
But like the pheonix we rise
Reborn from the ashes of our past life
Even if we close our eyes
And never see the morning light
The battles' victory
And our legacy
Will be borne in our hearts for eternity
Or moving beyond the subliminal?
A strange bird flies across
Is it the lucky albratross
Or the black crow
That brings deep sorrow?
Is it something I should share?
Or a secret that I should make you swear?
The battle rages
Like that of the two fish
Tied by their fins
Are they knots of valor
Or of cowardice?
Life is a struggle each day
A new horn is blown
A new mask is worn
UnLike the flower that blooms
And perishes at night
This refuses to evade
Forces you to draw out that blade
From that ill kept sheath
But, If u could draw comfort from this sheet
Slash your hands across fluidly
The words pour out effortlessly
The pain, the sorrow
The joy and the happy hollow
The frozen ice breaks
Flows through your heart
Mends and heals
This is more than real
As The stars impatiently twinkle
You put to rest your mind that was once fickle
Because You now know you won your struggle
Each day we all fight
Day and night
But like the pheonix we rise
Reborn from the ashes of our past life
Even if we close our eyes
And never see the morning light
The battles' victory
And our legacy
Will be borne in our hearts for eternity
Inspired By A Thousand Years-4
s that all it's going to be?
A battle between anticipation and acceptance?
The violent sea splashes across
The unstable rocks
Of the mind
Uproots those doubts
That feed like fleas on the flesh
A stench of a decaying corpse
Fills my lungs
Is this what I've become?
If it is,
Then what is it?
A dry fever
A spell of madness
Am I the dark
Or am I the light?
Even if I choose
Who is to know
What the future beholds
Is that hope
To give up
Or to retain?
Is that the thought to hold on
And Reclaim?
Or let go and label insane?
Does it matter what we choose
Does it matter what we do
Or do these questions seem obtuse?
It matters not what you think
It matters not what you say
It matters not what you do
Your story has been written for you
But why then, is it yours?
Why then, is it different from mine?
Because what is mine, is not yours
Your expectations are mere writings on the sand
Washed away by the tides on land
My life is not for you to lead
Never was, never will be
I may not know what to believe
But I do know I can choose my beliefs
And so I choose
The bright yellow sun
Over the greying clouds
The purple orchids
Over the drying grass
The tasty wind and the salty sea
The white sands and the buzzing bee
The rainbows and the rain
Drizzle and tickle
My endless smiles
For the first time in my life
I choose life
For the first time in my life
I live more than I die
A battle between anticipation and acceptance?
The violent sea splashes across
The unstable rocks
Of the mind
Uproots those doubts
That feed like fleas on the flesh
A stench of a decaying corpse
Fills my lungs
Is this what I've become?
If it is,
Then what is it?
A dry fever
A spell of madness
Am I the dark
Or am I the light?
Even if I choose
Who is to know
What the future beholds
Is that hope
To give up
Or to retain?
Is that the thought to hold on
And Reclaim?
Or let go and label insane?
Does it matter what we choose
Does it matter what we do
Or do these questions seem obtuse?
It matters not what you think
It matters not what you say
It matters not what you do
Your story has been written for you
But why then, is it yours?
Why then, is it different from mine?
Because what is mine, is not yours
Your expectations are mere writings on the sand
Washed away by the tides on land
My life is not for you to lead
Never was, never will be
I may not know what to believe
But I do know I can choose my beliefs
And so I choose
The bright yellow sun
Over the greying clouds
The purple orchids
Over the drying grass
The tasty wind and the salty sea
The white sands and the buzzing bee
The rainbows and the rain
Drizzle and tickle
My endless smiles
For the first time in my life
I choose life
For the first time in my life
I live more than I die
Inspired By A Thousand Years-3
I can still hear the screams
Of a tortured soul
Ringing in my ears
Shivering from the cold
The cracking of broken bottles
Each step bled
Out a new pain
A new sorrow
I can still smell the tears
Covered in the exhausted sweat
Of a worn out body
Wavering and tired of screaming
Each drop glistening like pearls of ice
I can still taste the blood
Of an undeserving scar
Slashed fiercely across
My raging heart
Tickling and burning
As the brezze hums over it
I can still feel the needles pricking
Blacking me out with numbness
Questiong my lifeless existence
Neither your senses nor your lies
Soothes or consoles
I don't know what I am looking for
Kicking against the forceful current
Searching for a way out
Or for a way in?
Nothing can take away
The scare that lonliness brings
Or the pathetic laugh and devilsh grin
Of the refelection I see
A complete stranger to me
The locks of hair in my fists
The clenched teeth
All refuse to bring
Any solace to this hellish thing
Curled into a ball
Sobbing
Hoping
Planning
Belabouring
Morning eventually dawns
Bringing a new anticipation of doom
New set of fears
Néw kind of pain
Waiting for the night once again
An endless dance begins
To the tune of frienzed drums
Playing from my thoughts
Back and forth I swing
Swril, twist and slide
It's always the same echoing
Many nights have passed since
Without these rituals
A calm has settled in
Is it a calm before a Strom?
Will I sustain my new form?
No more sceaming, tears, sweat and blood
But only the occassional murmurings
Of what used to be
Bursting from underneath
Claiming to be the truth
But I decide, I choose
Which to claim as real and true.
Of a tortured soul
Ringing in my ears
Shivering from the cold
The cracking of broken bottles
Each step bled
Out a new pain
A new sorrow
I can still smell the tears
Covered in the exhausted sweat
Of a worn out body
Wavering and tired of screaming
Each drop glistening like pearls of ice
I can still taste the blood
Of an undeserving scar
Slashed fiercely across
My raging heart
Tickling and burning
As the brezze hums over it
I can still feel the needles pricking
Blacking me out with numbness
Questiong my lifeless existence
Neither your senses nor your lies
Soothes or consoles
I don't know what I am looking for
Kicking against the forceful current
Searching for a way out
Or for a way in?
Nothing can take away
The scare that lonliness brings
Or the pathetic laugh and devilsh grin
Of the refelection I see
A complete stranger to me
The locks of hair in my fists
The clenched teeth
All refuse to bring
Any solace to this hellish thing
Curled into a ball
Sobbing
Hoping
Planning
Belabouring
Morning eventually dawns
Bringing a new anticipation of doom
New set of fears
Néw kind of pain
Waiting for the night once again
An endless dance begins
To the tune of frienzed drums
Playing from my thoughts
Back and forth I swing
Swril, twist and slide
It's always the same echoing
Many nights have passed since
Without these rituals
A calm has settled in
Is it a calm before a Strom?
Will I sustain my new form?
No more sceaming, tears, sweat and blood
But only the occassional murmurings
Of what used to be
Bursting from underneath
Claiming to be the truth
But I decide, I choose
Which to claim as real and true.
Inspired By A Thousand Years-2
They seem like lies
Like the drops of water
That disapper into the window sill
Was it real?
Was it true?
They seem like a past life
Like The leaves that whithered
And blew at my feet
Was it real?
Was it true?
Like the endless rain
All the pain
Was it just in my mind?
Was it real?
Was it true?
A spiral of eternity
Unfolds in front of me
Sleepless nights
And drooning days
What was it?
Was it real?
Was it true?
I wish I knew...
But here is what I do know
what I remember
Swimming in a black sea
Drowning in breathless tears
Screaming
Plunging a knife
Deep into my heart
The nights spent chanting your name
The voices that whisphered
To go on
To not go on
To end this right here
The doom befell
The glass shattered
It did hurt like hell
To know
That no one knew
The sweet wind brought some whisperings
The rustling of trees
The noiseless howling
Was all that told me
That this happened
In this world
In this life
Your memory might fly like
Dandelion over your head
But the damage and destruction
Was like the crushed buterrfly lying dead
It's colours spread across
The wings that barely took flight
Obscured, Barely saw the light
The holes punctured
The scars unmended
Live on underneath
Masked by the smiles and the cheers
Was it real?
Was it true?
For me, it was all the life that I had seen.
Like the drops of water
That disapper into the window sill
Was it real?
Was it true?
They seem like a past life
Like The leaves that whithered
And blew at my feet
Was it real?
Was it true?
Like the endless rain
All the pain
Was it just in my mind?
Was it real?
Was it true?
A spiral of eternity
Unfolds in front of me
Sleepless nights
And drooning days
What was it?
Was it real?
Was it true?
I wish I knew...
But here is what I do know
what I remember
Swimming in a black sea
Drowning in breathless tears
Screaming
Plunging a knife
Deep into my heart
The nights spent chanting your name
The voices that whisphered
To go on
To not go on
To end this right here
The doom befell
The glass shattered
It did hurt like hell
To know
That no one knew
The sweet wind brought some whisperings
The rustling of trees
The noiseless howling
Was all that told me
That this happened
In this world
In this life
Your memory might fly like
Dandelion over your head
But the damage and destruction
Was like the crushed buterrfly lying dead
It's colours spread across
The wings that barely took flight
Obscured, Barely saw the light
The holes punctured
The scars unmended
Live on underneath
Masked by the smiles and the cheers
Was it real?
Was it true?
For me, it was all the life that I had seen.
Inspired By A Thousand Years -1
This is me
Laying bare for you to see
In A dark tunnel
A light flashes in the end
Shines through till you're blind
And numb in the head
You promised you would see
Even though it wasn't pleasant entirely
All I knew was you wouldn't fret
And now I've shown you what's left
Of this strange world I know
It's nothing like you've ever seen before
The rain vapourizes into the clouds
The storm has now calmed down
You can smell the sweet flowers
And hear the birds sing again
I touch my face
And find tears in my eyes
Searching for that everlasting happiness
This nakedness is new
But you always knew,
There was more than meets the eye
Mine were closed with fear
But now that you're here
The world no longer seems
A stranger to me
It has now become
What the rain can't wash away
The thought,the memory of pain
A long frenzy of my fuzzy brain
Is now just that, a mere memory
A new,stranger tide envelops me
Something u taught me
Flashes by
Wished for it go away
But now it dos'nt matter if it stays
As the stars fall down
We try to catch them
But always a second late
From reaching that perfection
Smile at you reflection
Even if it feels untrue
Because no one else knows that but you
Touch the frame
And even if it ripples,
That is still your face
Kiss your tears
Let your soft hands
Fade away my fears
It seems the tunnel has no end
But it has a light
So go on and run ahead
Even if it's a step closer,
It's still better than where I've been.
Laying bare for you to see
In A dark tunnel
A light flashes in the end
Shines through till you're blind
And numb in the head
You promised you would see
Even though it wasn't pleasant entirely
All I knew was you wouldn't fret
And now I've shown you what's left
Of this strange world I know
It's nothing like you've ever seen before
The rain vapourizes into the clouds
The storm has now calmed down
You can smell the sweet flowers
And hear the birds sing again
I touch my face
And find tears in my eyes
Searching for that everlasting happiness
This nakedness is new
But you always knew,
There was more than meets the eye
Mine were closed with fear
But now that you're here
The world no longer seems
A stranger to me
It has now become
What the rain can't wash away
The thought,the memory of pain
A long frenzy of my fuzzy brain
Is now just that, a mere memory
A new,stranger tide envelops me
Something u taught me
Flashes by
Wished for it go away
But now it dos'nt matter if it stays
As the stars fall down
We try to catch them
But always a second late
From reaching that perfection
Smile at you reflection
Even if it feels untrue
Because no one else knows that but you
Touch the frame
And even if it ripples,
That is still your face
Kiss your tears
Let your soft hands
Fade away my fears
It seems the tunnel has no end
But it has a light
So go on and run ahead
Even if it's a step closer,
It's still better than where I've been.
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